Late to the game-2

[Free]

Update:
W and I had a strange talk yesterday. It started with discussion of D and how to split things up. It ended with her telling me everything I've done wrong again. I apologized for the things I've done and said that I will learn from all of this, but it's all a moot point discussing this again.
Here is the crazy part. W tells me "you want the divorce, you file!".
I told her I never wanted this, I just agreed to her wanting the D and that I will not file.
I stayed calm and never brought up OM. Not easy.
This is the craziest standoff ever. Who's NOT going to file?
I am still completely faking it in front of her. This whole thing is killing me.
One other thought.
I told her I was done last weekend. Before that, any discussion involving a D was almost ignored by me. I just stfu if she said the D word.
Now that I have agreed to it, something has changed in her.
I can not tell if it is her being happy that I accepted it, or if she is having doubts.
It's over for me, but I did something different and for the first time since BD, I see some movement.
I wonder what would have happened if I grew a pair and made a stand right after BD. As most of us were, I was a mess and tried to appease her.
I try not to think about the "what if's", but it's hard not to.