Wait in the home or move out?

[mbebos]

So much of this is a mental game. I am seeing from many of the posts I read, that the cheating spouse usually has to see some real danger that you are or could be moving on to wake them up. I like the idea of you staying in the house, but it is that perceived moving on (GAL, be a better person, treat your W kindly without being a doormat), are all integral parts of being a man she would be nuts not to choose.

Personal trainer single guy who has affairs with married woman is nothing on you, and I don't even know you. Your W's image of you may be that you are broken in XYZ ways, but deep down she knows better when she stops lying to herself, and sees the new you, or the new old you, or whatever you are working towards.

I spoke with a guy last night, who I had no idea he was going through a similar sitch as me for the last year and a half. She had an A, they sold their house, he is being an awesome dad, and he literally just dropped the I don't want you anymore hammer. He started going out and laying down with every 15 years younger girl he could find. Got more tattoos, does what he wants, even got a new job about a year later. He never put his kids in contact with any of his flings, but his W was jealous. Last week she called him, said she was sorry, she missed him, she missed the family element, missed the marriage. 1.5 years later the OM fizzled, he has moved on, and now has a new hope. He was doing alot of DB work without realizing it. (except the many many flings). The point is here, she had to be free of OM, and really see her H was moving on to change. It is different for everyone's situation, but that perception of someone not attached to you seems to work.