More and more, and less and less...

[Zues126]

Some people are ready to get divorced too easily, other's fight, but in the end find that if the other partner isn't willing, it can be very detrimental to their well being. So divorce may be that option for them before they do too much damage to themselves. It doesn't make that person any less moral than the others, they might just be trying to save themselves, which often actually saves their children in the end. I did not want a divorce, but in hindsight I could see how if we did reconcile, but he never changed, my daughter would have witnessed her mother being treated disrespectfully and she would have learned that is OK. This is, in hindsight, the best for her, because if he couldn't change, he would have done some severe damage to me emotionally (he already had) and god forbid that leaked over to my daughter.

I know I wished I had that one special relationship with one person with the rest of my life. But it doesn't always work out that way. It's not that people don't see value in it, but it takes two to have that.

This is exactly why XW said she was divorcing me and tearing apart my family. I believe everyone that leaves a marriage says this, and that everyone who remains married could if they allowed themselves to. If commitment to a marriage makes me stuck then I will happily stay stuck.

I will admit that I am still too near the loss of my family to read these words without being triggered and reacting emotionally. I had to sit with it a while before I could diffuse my defensiveness or anger. I have also learned how much pain was endured by those that left their terrible marriages, and I have learned to be compassionate for the pain they went through both during and after they left. I am not here to add judgment to that pain. I am simply here to stand by my beliefs and to try to help others avoid being impacted by the damage and destruction caused by divorce.