Drop the Rope - Part VI

[roist]

Z,

This place is a tool. It can be used in many ways for different reasons. You are free to use it as it suits you and your needs.Sometimes we need to not feel alone, other times to be understood, other times to get advice...... etc etc. So whine away if it helps.

Frankly I wouldn't worry about comparing your situation to others. You are trying to save and rebuild your M like the rest of us. Your pain and frustration is just as real. Plus you are at this longer than most people here. That is a long slog, which weighs on you too.

Sometimes I remind you of your progress and the many good aspects of your situation. This is not to belittle your pain or unmet needs. Yes others have worse situations, though most of those bad times are relatively short compared to yours.

Never underestimate your help to others. Over the last few months even though relatively inactive telling your story you have given powerful advice to others on this site. I went through a phase where I tried helping newbies and it was gratifying to help. I got as much out of it as they did. But st the moment I pulled back to concentrate on me. This is a personal choice and it may mean I get less followers and support but for the moment it is right for me to not dwell here.

I have to go but my last thought is that awareness is the first essential step to change and improvement.You are self aware and know when you are off track. Many people don't have that realisation and hence can't adjust to move forward. You are ahead of the game!

Best wishes. You have had some super replies.That is food for thoughttoo.

[Zephyr]

When the silence is deafening,
You no longer need to seek the truth.

Your heart can take solace with the quiet,
All of the questions that matter are being answered.

The sincerity of the darkness makes things clear,
You no longer have to try to see shadows of things that aren’t really there.

The lack of closeness should serve as a reminder of what is missing,
And that you can’t hold onto something that’s not in your hand.

You can finally rest, you can finally breathe.
Reality has always been there, though you refused to see it.

[Vanilla]

When we are authentic we are intimate in the truest way.

That is sharing the best of times and the worst of times both.

When we are and present our truth we connect, that is all we have to give.

V

[mahhhty]

When I first read this poem I thought it was about a relationship. I think it is much more. My favorite line is the last one.

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

[Vanilla]

This is a poem to self.

V

[Zephyr]

Good morning world, thank you for the sunrise.

Hey mahhhty, who rotr that poem, do you know??? I appreciate you putting it here, it is a nifty piece. I will read it again and again.

Bt, judy, jelly, V thank you all for keeping me grounded, and helping me be honest with myself.

Roiste, thank you for beeing here for me. I didnt think i was helping much at all, really. I know it does make me feel better when i try to help be a guide, here or in the real world. Yes, i have started having conversations with men about these topics, finding our nuts, 5 LL, holding ourselves accountable, seeking true intimacy a trying to find a healthy expression of who we are on the path to being happy.

Busy weekend on tap, thank you allnagsin for watching out for me!!!!!!!!!!

(Hugs)

Mark

[mutatio]

The words you've wrote on peoples threads has helped me. You have an impact on many peoples lives. Please know you are valued and needed. Zephyr, this is not an easy journey and certainly not for the faint of heart. Most traits of value come from learning through a powerful experience. To become a man only a fool would leave is easy to say, not so easy to be. I think of my journey as serpentine. I know I'll get there eventually and you will to. The timetable of rebuilding a marriage seems as slow as a glacier. Hang in there and enjoy the little things each day they are good medicine for the soul.

[roist]

I can't remember who's threads you posted on, but it came across as good solid and helpful.

Over the months you have helped me through some rough patches.So don't underestimate yourself. I am doing OK (relatively) but I expect you will get me through another few low spells in the future.

Have a good weekend.

[Vanilla]

You are the best guide and friend when you are your authentic self. Warts and all, not a Disney world character.

That's all anyonew can ask of you.

V

[mahhhty]

Zephyr - the Poem is called The Invitation by Oriah (or Oriah Mountain Dreamer). I'm glad you enjoyed it.