I understand you have one gear, Zeus. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you have a hard time giving people a chance who don't think like you or who aren't like you. I believe that similar values are very important. I think if you gave people some time, you might find they are much like you, but just can't put it out there so quickly. You and someone else, a guy, a girl, whatever, may not present alike in your ways initially, but you may find you are very much alike with your core values.
For me, I did not get serious with anyone until now. I was never the girl who needed someone, I am almost too independent. Some people are ready to get divorced too easily, other's fight, but in the end find that if the other partner isn't willing, it can be very detrimental to their well being. So divorce may be that option for them before they do too much damage to themselves. It doesn't make that person any less moral than the others, they might just be trying to save themselves, which often actually saves their children in the end. I did not want a divorce, but in hindsight I could see how if we did reconcile, but he never changed, my daughter would have witnessed her mother being treated disrespectfully and she would have learned that is OK. This is, in hindsight, the best for her, because if he couldn't change, he would have done some severe damage to me emotionally (he already had) and god forbid that leaked over to my daughter.
I know I wished I had that one special relationship with one person with the rest of my life. But it doesn't always work out that way. It's not that people don't see value in it, but it takes two to have that.
Everyone's situation is different, doesn't make any one right or wrong. But you do throw judgements out there pretty quickly sometimes when people don't see things the way you do. I'm just saying, if you give people a little more of a chance, you might find they aren't BS and share the same values as you, even if they don't show it right up front. People have walls for reasons, and sometimes, we just need to be patient. I say this not only to speak to romantic relationships, but to all relationships in life.
Keep enjoying your life. Enjoy your hobbies, enjoy your kids. I do definitely agree that is crucial first, and I am so happy that's what I chose to do. I probably could have never entered a healthy relationship otherwise.
Don't take this post as a judgement. I think you are a great guy who can get stuck sometimes as only seeing things through your lens. The world opens up a lot more when you view them through other lenses:) I say that from experience.
