Zues, you're not the only one who's concerned with how easily D seems to be accepted along with moving onto a new relationship. I know many people have their own opinions on this and I try to respect them but I just have that feeling reading about it. I can't comprehend how someone who says they are in a committed relationship can move onto a new partner so easily. That's the WAS first but also the LBS. When I see a LBS say they are detached enough to begin dating only a few months after BD, I just think.....really??
The only explanation I can ever come up with is they're in denial and moving onto what feels good to avoid the pain or the feelings weren't that strong to begin with. Maybe this is the wrong way to look at it but I just can't process why and how that's possible. I see how a new relationship would feel good but I recognize what it would mean for me. I know I might not be strong enough to resist a woman who was legitimately interested and pursuing me, maybe I would give into the feel good but I still know I would have feeling a for W and not finished my grieving yet.
When I first got into IC he told me it would be a good 2-3 years to move on from this, maybe even longer. I've read elsewhere similiar time frames and the longer the M was the longer that process is. I think that's why the WS usually ends up regretting their actions later in life, they weren't ready for a new R combined with the destruction they caused.
Again, maybe I'm just wrong and people are ready to D and start a new R after a couple months. It's certainly their right to live their life any way they please, so long as they aren't hurting another person. Personally, I just feel like the commitment we made with our vows deserves us to stay true to them more than most do regardless of what the WAS is doing. I have a big issue with trying to justify my actions, like dating, just because W might be.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
