Keefa I am so sorry for this pain and confusion and struggle you are experiencing. This is hell on earth. There is no sugar coating it, what would be the point of that. In my opinion it is better to honor the pain and the loss. Call it what it is. Unfortunately the only way is through it. Right now you find your peace in moments and where you can. There is no reasonable human on earth that would not be feeling the mix of "anger, resentment, betrayal and hurt". Give yourself some slack around the tears and the need to release this. It really is better to release it. Come here and do exactly what you have done, dump all this stuff here on the board and strengthen yourself, find your resolve and return to the fray.
These sh*tty awful feelings do change. It doesn't feel like it, but there is some relief in not see your S everyday. You gain a strange kind of peace. It does not stop the feelings of loss or missing your children, or M, or your the person your W once was. But you get some relief from the pain you get when you see them and are near to them. We all remind ourselves of the cliche "this too shall pass".
Keeping posting Keefa. We all understand, we all have been there, we will see you through this I promise.
