What I am about to say is likely way off base and potentially not Dbing at all. And I would never want to steer you wrong. There are far more trustworthy posters than me. You know me, and my little addicty ways!!!
With that said, I do wonder if now is not the time to experiment a little with different approaches of how to connect and engage H.
I find that out fear of doing the wrong thing, it stops us from being fully engaged in the moment and so we tend to tense up and I think we send out a feeling that we are scared of what is about to happen.
Part of dating and becoming attracted to someone is anticipating the positive experience, anticipating, fun and excitement.
I bet that if you bumped into some gorgeous man in a cafe and he asked you to sit down and talk, you would find a million things to talk about and discover. The difference with meeting H, is that everything feels so tense and every topic feels like a potential minefield. We don't feel like that when we are dating everything is a possible gem about this person.
Another thing is we forget that we get turned on by ourselves when we are enamoured by someone. We think differently about how dress, how do our hair, we feel generally differently about ourselves more positive, more assertive, more engaged with who we are, we find ourselves more interesting. We want to show off our best selves to the men we want to attract and that makes us feel sexy and excited.
This is the feeling you need to have about yourself and meeting with H. Friendship sure I get it, great starting place. But what about wanting to get him to also slowly undress you his eyes and you him.
As far as I can see Julie, you have nothing to lose taking a few risks. The way you write about your sitch, presents with a level of enevitability, that things are doomed anyway, that basically your never will "win".
Well my sweet gorgeous sexy, amazing fabulous woman, throw caution to the wind and experiment with being amazing and flirty and fun. If that is the case, then f**k it!! Be yourself. Stop being so careful. Bet it all on black - black lingerie is super hot - I have a draw full - we need to get you some!
Julie, lets bring sexy back!!! Lets work on you building attraction and connection with this man of yours. Your man is sending out some cues of wanting to connect in some way. Maybe its back to basics.
Just a crazy suggestion, I could be completely wrong.
