I am getting through some good grieving now, still not giving up, but reality is starting to set in a bit. I still see her a lot, is that going to drag the grieving process out much longer than it would otherwise?
M 43 W 45 M 10.5 T 15 S 26 D 17 (previous relationships) ILYB 12/25/15 + asks for D Confirm affair 1/10/16 W has D ready to sign, but agrees to wait for refinancing to go through (I get a house!)
Please stick w/one thread until you've reached 100 postings/replies. The reason for this is to allow posters to follow your story and when you post more than one thread at a time, it becomes confusing for posters as to which one to post to. Also, by doing one thread at a time, it will help you to keep track of your progress better.
Cadet may come along and merge both of your threads into one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, sorry about that. I'm still a bit delusional, just coming up on 1month anniversary of BD
M 43 W 45 M 10.5 T 15 S 26 D 17 (previous relationships) ILYB 12/25/15 + asks for D Confirm affair 1/10/16 W has D ready to sign, but agrees to wait for refinancing to go through (I get a house!)
No need to apologize. You are very new to the forum and probably were not aware of the thread count, etc.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just caught up on what you're going through (both threads) and thought I'd chime in.
First...definitely do not sign anything until your own attorney looks over it. My XW filed for an uncontested D and when I got the papers I read through them, made a list of the things that were unacceptable or that I wanted changed, and sent them to an attorney to review for me, make suggestions, and give advice about how to get what I want, things to be wary of, and things to not worry about.
Invaluable for peace of mind if nothing else.
Quote:
I still see her a lot, is that going to drag the grieving process out much longer than it would otherwise?
Everyone's different. I don't really see my XW much at all (only been officially divorced a week or so, but separated since Oct). Given no interest on her part to reconcile, I have seen her a handful of times since Oct and at this point it helps me a lot. I don't have any real interest in seeing her. And there was a lot of alcohol abuse and infidelity on her part, and no serious apology or attempt to mend fences, so my opinion of her is pretty negative anyway. Every sitch is different.
They key is moving forward and focusing on what's best for you in life that you have control over.
Shrev, I had a L look at xw proposal. He caught some things I didnt, so it was worth the 200 bucks for the consult. And, after I mentioned to xw that I had been to L, she backed down on nearly everything. Peace of mind, pretty cheap at 200 bones. You may try and do the free consults too.
Better safe than sorry
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
tl2, thank you so much for taking the time to look over my sitch and offer some great advice!
M 43 W 45 M 10.5 T 15 S 26 D 17 (previous relationships) ILYB 12/25/15 + asks for D Confirm affair 1/10/16 W has D ready to sign, but agrees to wait for refinancing to go through (I get a house!)
Shrev, I had a L look at xw proposal. He caught some things I didnt, so it was worth the 200 bucks for the consult. And, after I mentioned to xw that I had been to L, she backed down on nearly everything. Peace of mind, pretty cheap at 200 bones. You may try and do the free consults too.
Better safe than sorry
Thank dday, my mom and brother recommended having an attorney look over the papers as well. She is now backing off the pressure to sign before the re-finance goes through, so I will have the house secured in my name before signing. WIll have lawyer look over paperwork and let him know about the house sitch as well.
M 43 W 45 M 10.5 T 15 S 26 D 17 (previous relationships) ILYB 12/25/15 + asks for D Confirm affair 1/10/16 W has D ready to sign, but agrees to wait for refinancing to go through (I get a house!)
It will only help. And, honestly, the paperwork and financial part is way easier than the emotional part of this. I was able to keep myself out of it, and just try and reach a fair settlement. And eventually, it was almost 50/50 on Financials and I get the kids 3 days a week, so nearly 50% there too.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
That's sounds like a fair deal. I'm getting the house (only "real" asset), so not really anything to split. I'll just be sure to have the attorney look everything over to make sure she can't try to take the house back if OM starts making such demands / requests of her.
M 43 W 45 M 10.5 T 15 S 26 D 17 (previous relationships) ILYB 12/25/15 + asks for D Confirm affair 1/10/16 W has D ready to sign, but agrees to wait for refinancing to go through (I get a house!)
