I actually do think she still cares. Maybe not in the way I would like, but I think she does. This is all so confusing for me. I'm placing all my faith in these methods and hoping they work. I don't think there's a better method, but I don't have a lot of hope I guess. On the one hand, it seems like there's a good chance for us: 1) The breakup was hard for both of us and she said a lot of positive things about the relationship. 2) She was never mean or cruel during the process. 3) She wants to be fair re my financial situation. 4) She said she has "serious concerns" about OW, and that "something isn't quite right but I don't know what..." 5) She says she's not happy right now, and friends have said that she's struggling.
But then I think I really want one more talk with her. We sort of drifted apart at the end, and it's really hard for me. I know I don't want to beg or plead, and I don't want to hear that she's happy with OW. And I know I can't control what I hear from her, so I shouldn't have the talk at all. It just hurts so much and I'm still crying every day since I first heard there was someone else in early November, right through early January when she said she's moving forward with the OW. Words that still cut like a razor.
I just set up another phone session with my coach for tomorrow. I try and I try, but I'm so fragile and so sad.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Hi NYGal, don't do anything until you talk to your coach?
It's hard, it really is. Let your W find her own way through the struggles and realise that you're not the one who's causing her all her anguish. Let her have some space to reminisce about what was good?
Don't push her away but let her reach out to you.
(((NYGal)))
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I think she isn't completely over you either. Here's what I think is important to remember. We've all dumped people in our lives. At least I think we have. I know I have. If they were clingy and begging me to come back I just felt sorry for them and they were extremely unattractive to me. You know the only ex girlfriends I ever wanted back? Those were the ones who moved on right away and started seeing other people. That almost always flipped the roles and I became the pursuer instead of the dumper. You know when my wife got off the fence and realized she wanted our marriage? When I told her I was done, have a nice life, I'm filing for D. All the DB'ing in the world didn't knock a dent in her armor. It was when I became the dumper that things really changed.
Thanks, TX. Isn't human psychology funny in a tragi-comic sort of way? I'm always amazed at how many of us have heard ILYBNIL during the initial bomb drop. And how many of our stories parallel each other. And sometimes how predictable the waywards and walkaways are. I like to think that our chances for a reconciliation are good. And at the same time I know I have to GAL, etc. I still could go to that game tonight and sit with the hot woman, but I think it's too early and no one would be fooled! And it might be really hard to see W and OW and all the friends I don't want to talk to. And when I say fooled, it's not that I'm giving that woman any mixed messages at all. We would just be sitting together with two other friends. I don't want to play games, I really don't. I just want to be happy.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
NYG...to early for? All you would be doing is going to the game with some friends. There is no having to fool anyone.
And ugh yes! It does at times feel like if it's a game on our end. But I think that's because we aren't "there" yet. Where we can GAL without thinking what our SO would think about it.
And why we are still stuck is beyond me since They have NO problem doing whatever it is they want to do without giving us any real consideration beyond a possible "hope she doesn't find this out".
If you do go to the game I hope you have a blast. A genuine smile speaks volumes
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Thanks, TX. Isn't human psychology funny in a tragi-comic sort of way? I'm always amazed at how many of us have heard ILYBNIL during the initial bomb drop. And how many of our stories parallel each other. And sometimes how predictable the waywards and walkaways are. I like to think that our chances for a reconciliation are good. And at the same time I know I have to GAL, etc. I still could go to that game tonight and sit with the hot woman, but I think it's too early and no one would be fooled! And it might be really hard to see W and OW and all the friends I don't want to talk to. And when I say fooled, it's not that I'm giving that woman any mixed messages at all. We would just be sitting together with two other friends. I don't want to play games, I really don't. I just want to be happy.
But, if going to this game with these friends makes you happy then that is what you should do. That's not playing games, that's you doing what makes you happy. That's successful GAL. Whatever your W thinks about it is not your concern. Please don't pass up opportunities to GAL.
I'm not sure it will make me happy or not. I don't want to have to see OW. I'm not detached enough yet. But I'm the one that set this up with friends, and they've decided to go whether or not I go. Oh well.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
