He loves me he loves me not

[JulieH]

Husband has never been jealous type. Not at all. He just does not think like that. He actually rationalizes this sort of stuff in very healthy way. I really do not think trio would make him jealous. He might be upset about money though. " she files for cs because she has no money and now she is travelling" just like I was mad. "He won't pay for cs but he went on vacation for over week? "

In past, once kids were born I never spent money on trips for myself or makeup or clothing or hair salon because I was saving for kids. Now I am being selfish with my expenses. I do feel horrible for it, but it has helped me get through this. I am going to ask advice in future regarding work and hope I can ask on someone else's thread.

I also feel very guilty about going anywhere without kids. What if there is a plane accident? They will have no mom because I had to have a weekend away. I was always reluctant to do things for myself because of similar fears. Some sort of anxiety I guess.