WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

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Trumpet, do not beat yourself up right now. Breathe brother, breathe.
You contributed to the problems in your marriage, BUT YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT IF YOU GET DIVORCED. That is completely on her. Her choice, not yours.
As far as religion goes, my W was heavily involved in the church and was a regular lector at mass for years. Fast forward to a few months ago. We are at mass with the kids. The sermon is about how God hates divorce.
After the mass, I said "interesting sermon today".
She responded with "I didn't like the message. It's wrong".
WW's will pick and choose what works for them only. In their eyes, even God doesn't know what he's talking about if it doesn't suit their needs.
Don't panic now. Your goals are still the same as when you came here.
Just be your best. It's all you can do.
Go easy.