Action Speaks Much Louder Than Words

[2Times2Many]

Re the ring issue ... I think it depends on individual circumstances.

H and I went through a similar sitch about 10 years ago (hence my screen name) and worked things out (although, clearly not very well.) He took his ring off at that time and never put it back on. (I always saw that as a sign that he wasn't truly recommitted to the M and it hurt a great deal.) I continued to wear mine.

I questioned him about not wearing his ring once not too long before BD #2. He blew up at me, said it bugged him to wear it (although he wore it for many years) and he wasn't going to put it on. I never mentioned it again.

When I found out about OW and got the "I love you but" speech again 2+ years ago, I took my ring off and I haven't put it back on. Taking it off was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever done, but in my mind it represented a R that no longer existed.

Hopefully the day will come when I will feel it appropriate to put it back on, but I can't say under what circumstances that would be. I suppose I will know it when it happens.