Kyrie, think about this also, the difference between controlling, conflict behavior and healthy boundaries.
Controlling: H, I hate it when you ______. Boundaries: H, when you _____, it makes me (feel) ______.
The next step is consequences when somebody doesn't respect your boundaries.
Controlling: H, you need to stop _______. Consequence: H, if you continue to _______, I will ______.
An example:
Controlling: H, stop yelling at me!!! Boundaries: H, when you yell at me, it makes me feel hurt and unimportant. Consequence: If you continue to yell at me, I will leave the room until we can discuss more calmly.
Make sense? You wanted the Cliff notes, but the actual reading is much better. There is actually a version specific to marriages.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
