I decided to prepare myself as the way I did when he wanted to talk about our D. I sat there and did listen to all his talking and explanations. Once he was done, I even asked if this all what he wanted to say, and then said that I would consider it, talk to my lawyer and get back to him.
He got upset and I stood up and just said that I did not need to hear all that and if the conversation would go that way, that I was leaving.
He then got back to his normal and tried to persuade me into being a good girl. I kept my cool and just told him that he did what he wanted and I was going to do whatever I tough was best for myself.
I was thinking yesterday and I can't help to wish it was to repair what happen with our family. But I know better that it can be just another nonsense bull that he is trying to pull out of me.
I even tough it is financial, since I know he has been spending money he probably shouldn't. I was always more careful with money and XH is a big spender. Maybe he will ask me for a loan?
Depending on what it is all about, one thing is becoming very clear, I can't have this kind of thing happening in my life. If he wants to just talk some stupid, I need to leave it clear that I want him out of the picture. That he needs to stay away and we will just talk if it is related to kids.
I am a divorced woman and I need to rebuild my life the best way I can. I need to move forward and have accepted that it is best for myself and for my kids.
I know it is not what I wanted, but it is what is my reality. So he will need to disappear once for all.
What he probably don't think about is that life is not all that bad without him. I went to the basketball game with my boys and it was a blast. We had a great time together. To tell the truth, for a long time I did not see S18 so excited about a game.
Time never stops and life is moving on, I am not ready but I have a desire to rebuild my life with someone that will value me for what I am. Maybe I am not the best, but I know in my heart I am not the worse.
So I will dress well, not much, to feel good and secure about myself, I will try my best to be calm, some happy, mysterious, and need to STFU as much as I can so I do not say what I will regret later.
I know I have faith, I have prayed for guidance and serenity, now is in God's hands to do what he does best... Work his mysterious ways in my behalf!!!
I also wanted to say that I won't ever forget you are the ones to support my life ordeal at this time. You made and are making my life better for walking the unpaved road beside me. I would not be where I am if I was all alone.
Well, I guess DB is at test now, let's see what happen.
I will put my hear inside work now and try to forget about tonight, this way I won't be freaking out.
