S4 and S7 sleep in Ws room almost all night. She has not made any effort to discourage this. In fact, with the purchase of a new bed, she is actually facilitating this. It will make the separation even more difficult, but not my circus, not my monkeys. I can't control her parenting.
One offshoot of this co-sleeping behavior is that I go into Ws room every morning to kiss my kids goodbye for the day. This morning as I walked in her cellphone - which she keeps under her pillow (!) - was going off. As I was in the room, she ignored it. It was so bizarre! I should have ignored it too, but certain cell phone sounds and ringtones are HUGE triggers for me. Always have been. I asked her: aren't you going to answer your phone? She checked it, left it on, and quickly put it face down on her sheets. As usual, I felt worse after the incident for all the obvious reasons: it mad me look like to controlling villain-spouse, makes her feel ostracized and like the victim, it reminds me how un-detached I am and show her how un-detached I am, perpetuates her excitement by reminder her of her secret life, and lastly - worst of all, it does not prove anything. I already know they are together. Snooping just makes me look like I can't prove it. This minor "snooping" episode demonstrates how little progress I am making. Why can't I just ignore ignore ignore. It is such an visceral reaction. I just can't seem to control it. I am so sick of my own reactions. In house separation is so CENSORED.
