I tried to distract myself with some of my own work yesterday, and making some positive plans for myself for the future. I updated my CV and emailed a couple of people I've worked for, asking if they could be my referees. So I had a nice chat with them by email.
And then a very lovely thing happened. One of my friends (who I've only just got back in touch with after having drifted away from, about 10 years ago), messaged me to see how I was. Amazing timing. We had a nice chat via Whatsapp.
I walked home again (took me an hour).
Cried a lot and didn't sleep much.
Things to feel grateful for, positive about, and hopeful for:
* I managed to find a new accountant. That means I won't have to deal with the old accountant, who also always did my H's accounts. Plus she's about half the price.
* I got a message from one of my best friends, who wants to meet up tomorrow for a chat.
* I'm enjoying reconnecting with my old friend from years ago and think that we will be friends for a good while this time.
* I have been offered some freelance work in one of my fields.
* I am busy planning for my future, looking for more work and asking for help from the those people I know who can help me most. They have all been very positive about my ideas and plans.
* I am slowly managing to catch up with everything that I fell behind with (with my own work) over these past few months.
* I've found a few bargains clothes shopping, and am enjoying branching out, style wise. I feel more elegant and put together than previously now, and have had lots of compliments on how I look (including from my IC).
* I had my last session with my IC today, and she was very positive and complimentary about me and how I was dealing with everything. She said that she thought it was only normal that I should feel so low at times. She also said I was very strong but she could see that I was allowing myself to feel things too, which was important (I'm very much one for keeping the facade up at all costs to the outside world).
* I have found other people to be far more forgiving for the mistakes that I have made these past few months than I ever thought possible.
