Ugh we are all a mess here. Ancaire you seem to have it together more than the rest of us. What is your secret? The bear does have his way with the man but not in a Brokeback Mountain kind of way:)
NYGal I wish that crying made things better. For all my tears I should be perfect by now but not the case. My co-workers could tell how down I was today. I'm sorry that you broke down at work. I would have loved to have been at a seminar on emotional intelligence. I feel as if very few people could even define that term let alone understand it. God will give you peace but he will do it in his time. I guess what we have to do is accept that. I am praying for you right beside Rouky.
MB I feel that you are an enabler. Probably something along the lines of the co-dependency thing but I'll leave that to your therapist. Raising kids is hard but a part of raising them is to teach them how to survive. We all want to make it easy for them but in the end most kids will not pick up the pertinent information that way. Sometime in the past I read a post where the writer stated that she had DB a co-worker that day. I have done that also. It is also effective with children. Probably more so because they inherently love us. My kids had to buy their own car, pay their own auto insurance and buy their own gas. And lastly they couldn't drive to school if they had any F's on their report card. I did allow them to drive an old truck that I had but if they wanted nicer they had to buy it. I told them that they could live at home as long as they stayed in college and passed their courses but when they dropped out I made them leave. Interestingly enough they never questioned my sincerity on any of those issues. How did it turn out? One kid joined the Air Force and is doing very well there and goes to school at night. The other went down a very dark path but I let him hit rock bottom and he turned it around. He has three semesters left to get his degree from a Big Ten school. Neither child has asked for money in over five years. Do they still love me? I think that they do because when they come home they take me out to eat and bring gifts with them. When they call they want to talk to their father and see how his health is and maybe they want a little advice on something. Doesn't make me a perfect father and some of the answers to my failed marriage lie in the preceding. I feel as if I have made men of them though and hope to accomplish something similar with S13. It is kind of neat to see how he conforms to my values when he comes here now. His mother wouldn't allow him to do his own laundry or take responsibility for any chores. She would state that he would be able to pay someone to do that some day. Probably true but it is interesting that he hasn't once asked me to do his laundry since his mother moved out. Like his brothers he is occasionally willing to wear dirty clothes and I am thrilled to let him do so. I could clean them but then he would never learn to do it himself. Be strong MB and inform them of how difficult your situation is and tell them that their help is required. Tough love I would call it but you have enough on your plate without cleaning after grown children........I think that this is a rant.
My darling Rouky it must be bittersweet to have sold your house. It is a step in healing though and I will have to take some similar step myself. Hoping to be able to keep my home but at this point it is not a certainty. You know that I would dearly love to meet you and who knows what God has in store for us? Find a home that you love and decorate it to please yourself and raise your lovely children in it. You seem to be growing stronger by the day and I am thankful for that. There is something very special in store for you and in due time you will find it.
Praying for peace for everyone here today and for a good nights sleep!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
What I love about you is that even if you feel down you always have kind words for us. What made you felt down today? Can I in any form or shape help you? Or maybe send you a selfie while I'm standing on my chair miming different sports while my boss walks in with guests! Hilarious that time! Kids went all silent, turned round and there were my boss with guests to view my school! What did I do? I carried on, they has already seen me crazy, so I thought no point to stop my lesson! Later on the guest told me he was impressed with my lesson as I carried on whereas other teachers would have apologised! I was having too much fun to stop and become a mature adult :-)!
Ancaire, Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you today. I hope all goes well. You will be in my prayers. Good luck!!!!!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Oh my heart is pounding! Rouky you have graced my thread with you presence again! How I dream of flying to Europe to see you. I had a good day. Much better than the day before. I had learned that STBXW was taking OM around S13 and it hit me kind of hard. I'm OK with it now. It was just kind of shocking. I did call her out on it and voiced my concerns about repeating the mistakes of her parents. I say voiced but I did it by text. I am just powerless in her presence and I'll not meet with her. She replied that she would only talk in person. Maybe she is afraid of putting something on a text that would make her look bad. I believe that I already have the sympathy card in my deck so what's the big deal. So I guess as they say we are at loggerheads.
No more whining I promise. Tell me more about your exciting career field and your unique methods of teaching children. I love to teach although I have only done it in the setting of coaching sports. It has been some of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I now see some of my kids as adults and they usually run up to me and throw their arms around my neck. I am very good in the father figure role and sometimes those kids are looking for that. With your linguistic skills you could come here and teach language. It would be farther from your family though.
So how are things with that dumb a$$ STBXH of yours? My how he is going to miss you someday. Sadly it looks like it will not hit him until it is too late. Sorry to bring that up. Are you still getting cuddle time with the kids? There is nothing better. It makes me sad to see S13 rapidly coming into adulthood. He is still pretty affectionate but I sense that the day is coming when he will no longer let me lay my head in his lap while he strokes my hair.
So S13 and I are getting ready to tap Maple trees to make Maple syrup. When we made it two years ago we make one gallon of syrup. It takes forty gallons of sap to make a gallon so it's a lot of boiling. Wish you could come help. Then we could take your kids to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis.
I hope that you are well Rouky and thank you for always being here for me and always picking my sorry @$$ up off of the floor. God Bless you!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Everyone has gotten quiet here. Anyone have any exciting GAL plans for this weekend? I have been invited to a crawfish and karaoke thing on Friday night. Not sure I want to go, but I'm thinking about it. I haven't ever actually eaten a crawfish before because I can't quite get past the way they look! And, I know for sure I don't want to suck the stuff out of their heads. UGH! I'm sitting here making faces just thinking about it. LOL. Maybe if someone else has a better GAL activity for this weekend, I can try that instead. It's up to you guys to help me out.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Hey MB crawfish are awesome! Not only that it is a chance to get out and GAL. I think that it might be a great opportunity to meet some new people and try some new things. That's what this is all about after all. Staying in will make you a little crazy so whatever you do get out! I am hanging with some musicians Friday night and having some bar b-q. I wish that I had a date but I don't so I'm hanging with some dudes. I'm frantically searching for GAL for Saturday and Sunday. I do plan to meet with a trainer on Sunday for an hour. I have made some great strides physically lately and it's time to get some coaching. Try those crawfish MB. Might be someone there who you find very interesting or you might make a new friend or hobby. Whatever you do get out!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
MB even if you don't want to go, force yourself to do it. Once you have done that first step (the hardest of all), you'll be fine.
I really need to move to the States as it looks like you are having so much fun. Shotgun I can't wait for you to teach me how to make maple syrup, I have never tried it but I have a sweet tooth :-).
Had a long day and being tired, so I will check on you later.
