WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

Free, Sandi, and others:

The worst what I feared did come true - I found evidence that my wife was back to talking with OM. She has again professed her love to him, and says we have no future. She has been back to talking with him for the last 3 days. Her snap at me tonight was something very out-of-the-blue since we've had good interactions for a few days, so I did snoop. The Divorce is back on, and she says she'll be serving me papers. "15 years of you not loving me [censored] - I deserve better." She told me repeatedly that I don't love her (how did she get in my head?), and that the only way for her to be happy is with me gone. Lots of spew, lots of anger, and doesn't really care what those who care for her think. She will do what she wants.

I have some decisions to make on Thursday. Do I let this sit for a couple days, and see if she truly does serve me? If so, my path is set. Do I leave the marital home? I asked her to leave tonight if she is continuing in the EA - she will not leave under any circumstances. She wants 'her' bed (was ours), her house (it's ours), her car, you get the idea.

She deserves to be happy, our marriage was dead when it started, yadda, yadda, yadda... the same crap we all hear.

Leave the house? I tend to go back to - why should I? It does make it difficult with both of us here, esp. when she now plans to be open in the affair. I have to teach our D14 and S12 on Saturday PM - and it's on the 7th Commandment - adultery. Ugh. Difficult spot to be in, but my wife refuses to teach her kids any catechism material. She even recognized she'll probably have to leave HER church - she put the guilt on me for that one as well.

Should I file on her? I lean to 'no', as she already started the paperwork, so having her actually serve me would be fine - at lease I'm not in super-limbo land, like I've called it.

Very tough night. Searching for answers that aren't there. I'll get some sleep and see what the morning brings.