I don't think you handled it terribly. No worse than not saying anything and being walked on.
Maybe instead of telling her you feel hurt and looking at her with expectation of her caring and apologizing or changing her behavior...needy, controlling...maybe instead just state you boundary and terminate the conversation, in a way that suggests you don't really give a crap is she continues to disrespect you, but you won't be there to put up with it...
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15