2016 a New Year - getting out of my own fog

[Irish M]

Hi guys thanks for the support:-)

I went in dressed as I would for a business meeting, I also adopted that mindset, I knew my rights, what I was not willing to settle for and I was not going to give w one penny more than what the state would recommend, not out of spite nor pride but if I gave a dollar more than I would have needed to it was going in her pocket and in my mind I was stealing from my S. She wanted it, she would need to feel all of its consequences
I got a haircut, and went in happy and at peace. To that point I did all I could and made so many changes I looked at this as a final chapter to a book... Was a good book but I knew there was a better book ahead of me to read, I even shared a joke/story with w in the meeting room as she attempted small talk, I can't tell you how much this confused her.

Cali great advise...this is exactly what I plan to do. Actually W has a lot more $$ to lose since she bailed on her own debt and thought I would just pay it off as the nice guy I am (when she was my W). She is not my wife. I will make sure she pays her own debts. I owe her nothing.

I think you are a pillar to your daughters. Your situation is particularly heartbreaking to me, as a mother myself. As a society I think we are sort of desensitized to men who leave their families. It's wrong but it happens so frequently that we somehow make a place for it. It is so rare for a mother to leave her family. Honestly, it scares me because who knows what could happen to me and my own mental status.

Hi HaWho..yes it's mostly men that are the ones who abandoned their kids. I know 3 other cases just by talking about it to friends in my town that the Woman has done this. They all ended up alone because men don't stand. Pride and ego prevent these men from doing so. The men I know here that stand are true men. Like the Women who stand for their men. It's a true shame that most of them go noticed to their MLC. I can't imagine what you and your kids go through when witnessing your H behavior.

MY xh was around every weekend for 2 years then no contact for the last 7

Hi peace :-) 7 years. I know your story and I am so thankful you are still helping so many here. I know it must also help you keep sane. Your kids also know its not their fault or yours. Your XH reaching out to them after 7 years is just opening the wounds. Your Daughter handled it so well and I see that strength in my 2 D's.

know what YOU want. That's sometimes really hard to figure out, but once you know what YOU want, everything else will fall into place. That was the first bit of advice from our mediator. It has proven to be quite sound.

Thanks for the advise bttrfly, you saved me 350$, so yes I will treat my D's to some winter ziplining and skating in the old part of town. Winter festival starting. Can't wait.

Yes we have been put through enough. It is this life's challenge and how we deal with it head on that will shape my D's future. I see them strong and they will not fall into this cycle.

All of you gave the best advise combined. I will go in there on a mission to protect my family.. even though its without W. She skipped out. We didn't. If she's mad that I am not holding back well that is her to deal with. She won't drag me down...

I am so pumped now lol. Wish I could have the mediation meeting now at this minute.. I will re-read all this advise in the morning before I go.


thanks again. I needed this

xxx
Irish