Had a good day. Maybe I needed all the crying and anguish to be purged from my system. Had a talk with my preacher buddy this morning. It's nice to use him to bounce ideas off of. Ic last night with the priest was beneficial, considering I felt better today after getting some things out. I really like him. He's a great guy.
Some feelings I am dealing with... I feel better, more at ease with the sitch today. BUT, that leads me to worrying that I am becoming ok with it. So my mind goes to "is this acceptance" or "am I giving up" to just plain guilt for not feeling badly about my m being over. Crazy town, huh?
-----------
Kid swap. Xw was telling me about going to town and getting a bite to eat and grocery shopping, while I would have the boys. Then she told me about a gym opening, and she wanted to go tonight and scope it out... then realized it's next month. Told me she is going to try and get some of the other moms to go as a group. She stopped and picked the boys up on her way back through, which was nice of her. Saved me a trip
Why tell me any of this? I am really trying hard to let go, and for moments today I think I did. Can they sense it that quickly?
Boys talked a lot about the sitch. How it's hard on them. How they want it over. Why I don't just come home. I told them to pray about it. Talk to me or mommy about it. They still don't talk to her much apparently. Little boogers kinda sucked me back in by the end of the evening. I get them again tomorrow, so I have another kid swap.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
