Taking the stand you did was good/can be good provided you did it for you ... Just as with boundaries it's for YOU, not to get a reaction out of your w, nor should you have expectations this will "scare her straight". Also now that you've made the stance you or set a boundary ... Hold to it otherwise she will steam roll you in all things.
I would lawyer up, you need to understand your rights and what you stand to lose/gain here, most of all protect yourself financially
My w too did not consider the affair and affair as I was informed early on and consistently " It's not an affair If we were separated" ... Truth darts help here, continue with the "YOUR A is disrespectful to me, our children and our family" .... Also inform her she may very well get the kids... 50% of the time because you will not lose your privileges as a father due to decisions made FOR you.
Don't be shocked if now the EA/PA is out of the bag she shows some emotion, very well will nice you into a false hope boat to get what she wants .... She has plotted out how the A and D is going to go ... Demonize you is part of the script to justify her actions and free her from guilt
Memorize that 37 and hold to it.... It's a tough climb and your journey has just begun
