Just got caught up on your recents posts. I'm sorry you had to deal with your mom in the middle of all this. Glad your aunts are on board to help you. It's hard. My mother and I have had a truly contentious relationship until the past five years. I did some very unconventional therapy which helped in ways I never could have imagined. Through that process, my mother also changed a bit, at least in her actions towards me. Basically I was kind, but firm, kept setting limits, etc. All the things you are doing. I think you are handling this with your usual grace and resilience. Great job. I know how hard it is! About the cutting off piece. Yes, it is a protective measure. I understand it. I've done it. I've watched my H do it with his abusive father. Just because one cuts off - and in certain situations it is the only step left - it doesn't mean the damage stops. My H never dealt with it, and now it's coming out here. I say this simply to offer the suggestion that if you decide to cut off from H, you still work on healing yourself. I have the sense you would do that anyway, but it's so top of mind for me right now ... I wanted to stress that.. Also, sometimes I've cut off thinking I'm protecting myself, only to learn later that I caused myself more damage and hurt, as well as hurt to those around us. I hope I haven't overstepped here. You've gone through so much you don't need more, know what I mean, jelly bean?
xoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
