No advice on how to deal with the OM being around the kids, just wanted to commiserate on finding activities and then having the WAS take over and get "credit".
Just put the two sweetest and most rambunctious kids to bed. We played old maid and go fish and they loved it. They did pretty well too, both of them beat dad every time. I love my kids. Now I have scotch (trying to diversify) and I'm here to wrap my head around this.
Fo2 - No I didn't give her my kidney. Is she healthy enough? I wouldn't think so, so OM is probably helping somehow. The thing about skiing that pisses me off the most, is that (skiing and soccer) were my ideas and my actions to bring them up for the kids. I was open and honest with her, and she took it and ran with it. Then she double books them for soccer.
It was quite satisfactory to me that they didn't remember his name.
G - I'm headed to check out Mona right after this.
Follow up from Mozza. He asked these questions the other day. I didn't explicitly respond.
Quote:
OM: Very simple: you have no control. She will introduce the kids to OM if she wants to and if you decide to fight that battle, you will lose. What have have control over is how you react to it. Is it hurtful for you? What part of it hurts? Do you think the kids will be harmed by meeting him?
Is it hurtful? - Yes. What part hurts? - The idea of "family." My ego. The kids aren't better for meeting him. So in my eyes this is purely selfish. The idea that no one has the gaul to approach me to say... Hey I'm going to introduce the OM to the kids. In the co-parenting workshop (that our state requires) the instructor kept asking how is what you are doing helping the kids. I would ask how is what she is doing helping the kids. Kidney failure and divorce, and she thinks this is the next best long term thing of her life. Honestly, what is she smoking and where can I get some. Do I think the kids will be harmed? - They will be if they get attached.
I haven't reacted to anything. I haven't written her back. I am ranting.
Now to read page 8 of Mona.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
G - How does Page 8 relate to me? The writeup about codependency?
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
OM... I wish they hadn't met him. But they have. I wish she was proactive and worked with me. But she doesn't. I will go back to LRT, and only offer empathy/compassion/validation when approached.
Skiing... I will respond via text.
Her Text. "Shoot. I forgot about that and I made plans to take them up to "Ski Mountain" next weekend. Is it the same process as last time where you pick up the shirt the first day?"
Something like this response... "No the first soccer session is on the 30th. Also received a party invite from Olivia for that Saturday. I will send it to you, please RSVP. As for skiing, I'll take them to lessons on my own. Please let me know in advance if you want to be included."
I'm baffled, but I shouldn't be surprised.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
I don't know what to tell you, M. Maybe she feels like she has less time with them and therefore wants to make as many fun memories as possible? Guess you can't fault her for that, but it shouldn't be at your expense.
It doesn't. It was Mona's comment about responding to something on MWD Facebook page.....
About not putting the kids in the middle. I read that. I agree but can't control what she does.
Originally Posted By: Gmum
I don't know what to tell you, M. Maybe she feels like she has less time with them and therefore wants to make as many fun memories as possible? Guess you can't fault her for that, but it shouldn't be at your expense.
No I can't fault her for wanting to make fun memories.
Less time. B/C of the surgery, who knows. But wouldn't she want to spend more time with her kids. She missed seeing the kids for 20 days in 2015. We aren't 50/50 its closer to 60/40
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
