That's hard to say trumpet. I don't know that it can be reconciled. I've thought about just dropping the bomb on her, and having her served, and then let her marinate in it for a bit. If she's jumped into yet another relationship, there isn't going to be anything to work on. I don't know that she wants to work on it. I believe she's just trying to maybe keep her fix going, or maybe she's really done. I have no idea. Our communication has been relegated to just stuff about D2. What, IYHO would be burning the bridge?
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Anytime you relate anger to her is burning a bit of the bridge. If you do divorce, I now think you have to come to the spouse telling her that for your own health, you're having to move on. I see so many in anger say they'll never forgive, say very hurtful things to push spew back on the cheating spouse, and dump so much landfill onto the spouse that they can never see the lifeline you could provide.
What if she realizes her problems are really her problems, owns them, and comes back in 5 years a changed woman?
I know you can't stand around forever. No one is asking you to. Just don't let the hate overtake you. It didn't work too well for Darth Vader, it won't work for you, either.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
Well, I don't have hate or anger at this point. It's actually more apathy. I've no desire to spew at her. It just is what it is at this point. She's acting like a high schooler, and I've just grown up, and not going to deal with it anymore. And 5 years is a bit too long. I don't believe I'd be there at that point. I don't need her in my life. I've realized that. I am sad that it will cost my family, but I'm not willing to be a doormat while she explores other relationships. I'm not going to say anything hurtful. I'm beyond that now. But I also have no desire to be friends. I'm not going to pretend that we're just okay.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Filed for D today. I'm somewhere between apathy and sadness. She hasn't been served yet, but it's coming soon. I outlined a very amicable settlement. 50/50 child custody. Not pursuing any retirements or anything. Nor paying CS as I'm already paying for babysitting. Waiting for the bomb to drop. See what happens.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
I will. Texted her when it was D2's bedtime. She called and said goodnight to daughter. She was driving from somewhere, didn't ask. Probably hadn't been served yet. Waiting for BD.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Sorry for the absence. Been a rough few days. So I found out WW wife had been served last Friday. I didn't know about it until today. I believe she went yesterday to go see a lawyer as she wasn't dressed for work. She has said nothing to me about it since it dropped. I had seen signs at her apartment on sat when I dropped off my D2, that she may have been drinking a lot on sat night. Realize now that may have been from getting served papers. So, now we're in a child war of attrition. Very strange place to be.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
If you served her, is your goal to REALLY be done with her?
Any communication with her today?
Why I ask - I think you need to really move forward, in body, mind, and spirit. You made a call - no problem there. Now go about the process of getting healthy, Nate. Be the absolute best dad you can be. Healing takes time, but you have to start now!
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
Well I applied to an IT position, Hoping to get it, as it's in the same building, and I'd keep my benefits and get paid better. No communication with her at all, but I will most likely see her at tumbling tonight. As to whether it was really to be done with her...... it's a hard answer. I'm not going to be a doormat while she indiscriminately dates other people. Our trust and respect level for each other is zero. I don't believe that she will snap out of it, this is just who she is now. She's said things to that effect. She's said I was never plan b. So if I was no plan, then I didn't want to continue being on the game board. Emotionally I don't feel abutting for her anymore. And yet I cried when filling out the paperwork. Also surprised she hasn't even said anything to me about getting served. She had sent so many mixed messages, and I just couldn't believe any of them. I didn't file out of anger, I filed out of what I felt was necessity as to not go through another OM. I can't see how it could ever work again as how broken we are.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
