Since he continues to push and "try"...I thought about this while reading some of MWD's stuff. Putting things in "action" terms. At this point in the game, would it be better to not engage/"drop his bags" or maybe something like this... Text from H this morning: "I'm tired of coming home to your cold indifference" K - no response H: But since I don't respond the way YOU want me to, why bother, right? K: Good morning. You came home after I went to bed (near midnight). Were you needing something? H: Condescending formality makes it worse. No response from me. But after thinking about things, it always comes back to this weird expectation he has that I'll say or do something ("sincere" in his words). He doesn't KNOW what that is, but he sure expects it. Thinking about the action thing, I thought about asking (face to face): "This morning it sounded like you needed something from me. Since communication has been difficult for us, I need you to be specific. Can you give me an example of what you'd like?"
(Usually he fires back that he shouldn't have to do that, I should know him by now, yadda yadda.) I want to clarify that I need more specific actions. "I've done a few things which have made you uncomfortable. What would be something I could do?"
Now that I wrote all that out, I'm thinking maybe that's not good. What are your thoughts, friends?
Me: 42, H: 38 Married: 12 years (second M for me) 14D, 9D 2015 EA (PA??), porn addict, *pastor/counselor* MLC
At a counselor, he said he wanted the marriage but not to work on himself w/a IC. Piecing?
