You agreed to a transparency situation, and she refused to comply? She got angry, deflected, and made it all about you?
Uh-oh. Your instincts may be right. Do not sit on this! Sci-Dad, you can't. You guys had an agreement she is refusing to honor. You have a right to know. If she won't comply, make her leave! Do not let your W disrespect you. That is not anything to build a successful M on.
What are you thinking? Where are you on this? I'm sure you've been pondering, so before I say anything else, I want to know where you're at.