Tx - I definitely agree. They are the drug and the WAW is still a user. But ultimately that is beyond a LBS's control.
Not 100% out of their control. It helps if the LBS has allies and there are multiple people from multiple angles working to bring the cheater back to their senses. Cheaters really are nuts. They're almost unrecognizable as the people we all knew and loved before the cheating began. Affair fog, in my opinion, is even more powerful than the influence a religious cult has on a person. People will destroy their lives, and their spouses' and children's lives, because of affair fog. OM/OW are the fog masters. Their goal is to keep them in the fog. Keep them hooked. They are Charles Manson, David Koresh, Osama Bin Laden.
I don't let OM/OW off the hook like so many others do. They are the scum of the earth. They prey on the emotionally vulnerable the exact same way that cults do. I despise them. If a loved one is sucked into a cult we blame the cult. If a loved one is sucked into an affair, we let the OM/OW off the hook. Why? I don't. OM is long behind us now but if I ever bump into him I will be hard-pressed not to smash his face in. I was a Marine grunt for 6 years so I know I can do it. He deserves it. The world would be a slightly better place without him in it. Still, I won't waste the time on him. Karma will take care of that for me. It already has in many ways.
Sorry to sidetrack and rant but I can't stand the thought of letting OM's and OW's off the hook. They do not deserve to be let off the hook.
