G - I responded to you on my thread (to early and before coffee).

But I didn't respond to this directly.

"What do you mean he won't be able to feed off me?"

I was bullied during my D, by the woman I loved. She was leaving the relationship and I was holding onto it. This gave her control and power to manipulate, to feed off my grief to her means, all while her respect for me diminishes (because I'm holding on and she is already gone).

A strong boundary can metaphorically say to the WAW, "Listen I'm done with your $hit. Do what you will do. I have more respect for myself than to play games with you."

Then they are alone. Alone to deal with the consequences of their decisions. Alone to figure out the world. In my short time here, I've seen more people reconcile b/c of a strong boundary than people reconcile for holding on (like you and like me). Read about Squiggy. He dropped his off and filed for D on his own, while she was with OM. Last I heard they were moving back in together. He got it!

In that light, my recommendation is to remove yourself from the equation. Get a L, not just council with one, but hire one. If he is still with the OW. Divorce him.


Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2
M - 8/2008
W is not happy - 1/2014
W wants D - 9/2014
W moved out - 11/2014
D filed - 1/23/2015
D'ed - 2/25/2015
Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015