WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

Hi Anc, I love yr contributions so upbeat and funny , thanks for reading.

Two days on and not much to report. I'm still in Greece and GALing every afternoon/evening with a run followed by dinner with my coworker. It's nice to have young (27) female company. I'm not flirting with her as it's difficult as English is her second language and also frankly it's inappropriate.

W is detaching more than me with no contact except when she needed to access our EBay account.

I ring the kids once every evening to catch up and say goodnight. W doesn't even answer the phone but let's the kids answer it.

Am I detached? Not fully but it's getting easier. NC is easy and I'm not making excuses to contact her or using the kids as a conduit. I could easily ring her mobile to speak to the kids through her but instead ring the landline.

Am I pacing the hotel room thinking about M and R and her and our history? No not really, things pass through my brain, and I try to move them out of my brain,, and concentrate on me and my wants and needs.

I have made an impression professionally at work with my Greek hosts and they want me to return in the Spring. I always get great feedback when I work abroad, and it builds my confidence, that I am an expert in my scientific field. 4 years ago W. wrote a list of 'complaints' about what she thought I needed to 'fix' and on the list was 'your not keeping up with me professionally or physically'

Since that time I have got physically very fit and although professionally I am in the same job, I am very close to the apex of the pyramid. I can not go professionally higher unless I change career and move into sales or another scientific field. W's career pyramid is higher than mine - she earns more- but she has also been in the same job for years and although she has expanded her role and is on several national scientific committees , we are both close to the top of our trees.

I have an opportunity at work to become involved with a new cutting-edge technology. It will be a sidearm to my main job, still it's exciting. I have my first meeting in mid Feb.