Hi KYH, I think taking a stand is fine. Only you know what you can and can't tolerate, and if you can't tolerate (understandably) living in the same house as your W when she is having an A, you can take steps to protect yourself and the family from her wayward behaviour.

The area to watch out for is in the latter part of your post - where you told her to think about various things - what kind of person is OM, get some help from friends, find yourself a therapist. My guess is, she will not welcome that kind of advice from you and may see it as control. Fact is, she will likely to come to see the 'real' OM - but that will happen on her timescale and not yours. You trying to push things along may well slow them down.

Good for you in taking a stand. How do you plan to follow through on this in the event she doesn't agree to leave?

Take care - sounds like you are doing pretty well in very difficult circumstances smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus