GG, you are an Amazon girl. I sense in your words that you are a tough girl and I love it.
I put my name as "Pink" here in the board because most of my family and friends back in Brasil always tough it was funny to see a tough girl wearing pink. That was me, I love my feminine side, but I can be tough as a guy.
Your life story is sad and full of XH2 garbage. I am so sorry you needed to endure his atrocities, his abuse. Why in the hell someone think they have the right to treat others this way?
GG, maybe there are things you still need to work on yourself, it that is something you think you could handle better. Sometimes, we need to see our behavior patterns in order to identify the source of what we do, or fear, or avoid.
There is always a reason for a pattern to be formed in the first place. Once you know what it is, then you are more likely to repair, adjust, change.
Maybe it is time to start peeling the onion and let the layers come down and be the original GG. After years of abuse from your XH2 you probably develop some kind of defense mechanism, in the same time you may have developed some different behavior just to cope with XH2 bad behavior.
It's never just one thing. It's never very easy to win the challenges. But after 2 years, you start having questions, you start polishing the gold and eventually it will shine.
GG, maybe with the help of so many here, you can find what are the things that bother your and get better, change.
