The start of my happiness.

[Tyler12]

Thank you Zeus. The quote does hit home. It's the struggle to understand and the desire for it to end.
I haven't said it lately because I feel like I shouldn't. I have been holding in sadness and focusing on anything to make it go away.
But I miss her. Right now I feel like I am approaching this all wrong and should be talking to her and be happy and ask her how she is doing. It feels so wrong to me I feel distant an indifferent.
When I txtd her back tonight I said was as v ball. Sorry I don't know where it was packed.
W: oh. K
Me. How were the boys today ( I focused so much on that I wasn't going to talk to her I forgot about my boys. It's only day 2 for them too)
W. They are good Told me a bit about their day.
Me. How is little guy. Can't wait to see them.
W he is good. I'll let you know about meeting Friday. She might come all the way to get her mail forwarded.
Me. Alright. Let me know. Have a good night.

It just feels like it's cold and dismissive which isn't who I am. I know I am a "nice guy". And I'm working on that.
I am focusing on DB. And doing my best. It just feels wrong sometimes. On the plus side tho I found myself able to focus much better at school today. I focused on the money issue a bit. Then I handled it and it we gone. It didn't linger like things used to