Here again after 9 years and struggling 3

[Zues126]

Yeah IP, what Anc said. I am still posting because I want you to know I'm in your corner, but I'm not sure I'll have much to add until 30-60-90 days pass and you realize the need to truly detach.

Within your desire to save your marriage are two parts. One is noble, good, healthy, God-given, and righteous. The other is scared, needy, desperate, overwhelmed, and panicked.

I agree we should all stand by our M's for all of those noble reasons.

What we shouldn't do is allow our fears and neediness to control our thoughts and behavior and destroy our ability to appreciate and enjoy the life we've been given by God.

Too many people avoid growth by justifying their dependency because it fits their beliefs. I love the beliefs, but you need to lose the dependency.

I get it's overwhelming and maybe it takes you time. Just not much more to say until you get there. And you will. When the pain continues and continues eventually you will learn that letting go stops the bleeding, not just for you, but for your WAH, and that it is the best gift you can give to each of you right now. There is nothing noble about smothering a dove to death. I promise you'll get there. Until then I wish you the strength to get through until you find that relief.