The beautiful thing is, spew jackets come in all sizes and colors and can be used in several situations... Seems your H is not the spew type but your moms makes up for him eh?
You touched on how at this point we are able to DB unilaterally... No matter the sitch, or person, it's just plain smart to use the DB tool box in other areas of our lives, it works, it's made us better, you are DBing your mom and it's a healthy way to go about it, will she change .... Time will tell, what's obvious is that you have M ... You've come a long way and you continue to grow, celebrate that, but that treat and enjoy it.
