I am really now working on doing my 180 and acting as a man who doesn't want R, open to creating a new M with someone else, and someone who just merely coparents. I have my moments in which I truly miss my W, and I begin feeling and acting as if I am a victim in all of this. I am trying to get out of this mindset.
Friday night my W calls me crying over the phone, stating how she has been trying her best with the kids, but our eldest is acting up, and saying mean things to her, and that he seems angry. I told her I understood and I agree that he is lashing out, that we need to get a therapist involve so that he has an outlet he feels secured with to open up to, if he doesn't want to open up to us. She also called to find out when I was picking the boys up the next day, as she is overwhelmed. I told her the time and told her to try and relax, and be compassionate with our eldest.
As soon as I hung up, 5 minutes later I receive a text blaming me for doing this to our family, for putting myself before our children, how she will never love me again or forgive me for this ever. All of the mistakes and things I am sorry for at the beginning of our relationship, she began throwing in my face. I became numb to it all, I didn't know how to respond, and so I didn't. I completely ignored it (don't know if it was the right thing to do), just felt saying nothing was the best approach. It seems she wants me to forever live in my past, during our marriage I have tried to correct and do right by her and the kids but I am under no illusion that I have done a lot of damage in the early years of our marriage. I love my W and I would love to have our family together, but I am not sure if things will get better.
I am doing PMA, I am praying for our family and for her. I want her to be happy and at peace, but I also want to be at peace and happy.
God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
