I think your WW has administered bad treatment to discourage you, even to prove to you, that the M is over. That is one reason I believe the longer the LBH stalls, the worse she will act. That's what women do!
Some LBH'S will experience this coldness and bad attitude (and worse), and then when he agrees to a divorce, she changes and becomes like his BFF. That's b/c she doesn't have to convince him any longer and they can just be best buddies!
If the H would display an attitude that said, "You know, I've been thinking about us and I've decided you are right. This really isn't working for me, either". The H would see surprise in her, and then she would probably be friendlier and even warmer........and then, she would probably become very curious as to his reasons for wanting to move on and she would start making excuses for more contacts, etc. I have not seen it fail, yet. It's just that the LBH'S are afraid to do it, or else they have waited too long.
The whole idea of remaining friends and keeping the home safe place, etc., just doesn't seem to work in a case of waywardness. The only cases I can recall that were successful in drawing the WW back, were those where the WW believed the LBH was done and no longer attached nor interested in her.
It sparks something deep inside of the woman. It almost lures her to the man who no longer desires her. She has this feeling similar to a challenge to rise in her. That old basic human nature of wanting what is no longer hers to have. It has been removed. She thought she didn't want it, but now she's lost it......and she wants it back.
The board has had hundreds of men who will post how confused they get b/c when they finally give up and leave the WW alone and he starts building a life for himself, she starts to pursue him. . Old human nature........just can't beat it.
The catch is that the LBH has to let her really work hard to get him back again. Too many men want to jump back the first sign of her reaching out to him. The first several times will just be her testing him. If he goes all melty-man, then she loses interest. (Pursuit and Distanting).
Copying Sandi's posts from Flights thread here...
I have certainly found this to be true the previous times my wife and I broke up (bf/gf back then but same pattern). She always knew to come back right when I actually had moved on... it is kind of crazy how that works. The five love languages book is really bring some things to light for me. I still believe there is a chance for something special between us. But we'll see.
It is our nieces 6th birthday today... really sad I have to miss that tonight. I dropped off a gift at the in laws for her yesterday.
. Old human nature........just can't beat it. 