Well, that went over like a lead balloon. She got upset from what I could tell, and left the room. At least she knows I want to put her needs above my own, even with the EA so close in the rear-view mirror.
She's not ready for that kind of stuff yet. I understand what you want to do, but speaking as experiencing it myself........it is emotional pressure. It's like this guy who is following her around & wanting to do something......anything....."just tell me something I can do to make you feel better"..........and it's too smothering for her.
You don't have to be cold and act like a horse's rear. Neither is she ready for you to be gushing over her and appearing "too helpful"......if that makes sense. Give her some time. Let her mourn the ending of the A.
I do believe that staying occupied helps. Do activities that are fun. Keep it in groups, if possible........like the family, other couples, friends, etc. Attend things together. Go somewhere new. See shows and watch funny movies. But don't push having talks with her. Don't push for intimacy, however, if she was sleeping in a separate room......as part of the R agreement, she should at least be sleeping in the same bed with you.
GB is right in how hopeless the WW feels in the beginning of withdrawals. She probably saw this OM as her last shot at happiness, and now she has to resign herself to living a life with you. (Sorry,^^^ that's expressing the WW's feelings). It is difficult for her to believe she'll have those "in love" feelings again.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
