The issue was handing over the money to do it. I have always been Leary about expenses on myself since the bankruptcy and feel like getting a gym membership will start me down the spending path again. I am also looking at courses I can take on budgeting and handling money.
So make this goal! I will do XXX by YYY.
I will take ABC budgeting class in March. I will put this into practice in April.
I will go to the gym 4x/week. I will gain XYZ pounds by Feb/End.
Speaking of which, have you made your list of goals?
Do I wait and see if she says something to me? Or do I bring this up? She had no money to at me back right now so it will probably lead to a argument.
You cant just go on letting her take whatever money she wants from you, right? Whats in the agreement? If it says you pay half of XYZ credit card, then document the money that was owed as of the separation date and pay that. As for daycare, same thing.
How are you going to protect yourself so she cant steal all of your money?
I am starting to find some goals that are not relationship oriented. Like money and working out. I will find more as time goes on. As for protecting my money. I am in the process of moving everything to my own account so that i am totally independent. There is some things I have to get signed by another party and I am working on that.
I don't have a problem calling her out on borrowing or taking money. I am wondering how I approach this. This is what I am considering texting her. I was looking at the account this am and saw my ei came in. It covered the check you wrote to xxx for daycare. My understanding was I covered ab and you covered xy. Is that still the agreement? I understand you are starting out so money is tight.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
And it's hard to word conversation like that. When I started talking to her and communicating in that way where it's not. Hey. So daycare came off my check are you paying that back. Or talking how I used to she would get mad saying she doesn't want to talk to me if I am going to talk like a therapist.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I am starting to find some goals that are not relationship oriented. Like money and working out. I will find more as time goes on.
But are you keeping track? How are you holding yourself accountable? If you just say "I have money as a goal", what does that mean? Everybody has a goal to get more money. But WHAT are you going to DO? And by WHEN?
Originally Posted By: Tyler12
"I was looking at the account this am and saw my ei came in. It covered the check you wrote to xxx for daycare. My understanding was I covered ab and you covered xy. Is that still the agreement? I understand you are starting out so money is tight.
Im not sure I would go into this much detail. And I wouldnt say the line at the end. Im really terrible at this kind of thing and I know I always say about twice as much as I should. Hopefully, someone else can come comment.
Do you have some sort of separation agreement? Or is it just verbal between you for now?
I realize my goals have to be more specific. I haven't sat down and planned them all out with all the crap going on in my life and stressing about school. I have some time tonight and tomorrow to focus on my goals. Yes we have a seperation agreement where we spelled everything out. We were sure it was set up between us before she moved out. I went over it several times to make sure it wasn't worded in ways that would screw me over.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Finances are always so tricky! Even though the expenses are detailed in the separation agreement, what about the game plan if someone doesn't follow through?
Thanks for the awesome vote of confidence regarding the DB telephone coaching Zues126!
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me and we can talk about some different pricing options since you are going through a tough financial situation too.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Since I have some time to kill right now I am going to lay out some goals. I spent 3 hours cramming last night for the test I just wrote. I feel good about it. However cramming made my head spin and by the end I had to stop because I literally could not focus anymore. So 1. Focus on school it is 8 weeks long. 2 are already done. So I have 6 weeks to really focus on this. When I am done I will have an average above 87% and I am going to spend a minimum 1 1/2 hours studying each night. We go through at least a modual a day and I feel behind so catch up and get ahead of the game. 2. Use time with kids for positive things. It's nice to sit and watch a movie sometimes. I want to start using the time I have between having them to plan things better ahead of schedule. Ex. This day we are going tobogganing. This day we are going to go to the pool. Or skating or whatever. Make plans ahead of schedule so I'm not sitting around while they are here trying to think of things to do. Planning out my evenings better. I have lots of ideas to busy myself and am adding more as I think of them. Like v-ball Tuesday nights. Fri-sun are with kids. I will spend time at the gym when it opens. I have a list as long as my arm of repairs and Reno things I have around the house. I will start working on that list and have it done by the middle of May at the latest (. Some things are big and will be costly 4. Get all finances in order. I am currently looking at courses and will be setting up a meeting I hope with someone at my bank to go over things and help me make a plan. I will meet with someone within a week
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Continued my weekly v ball tonight. At the end of school today I really felt wore down. I think one of my kids have me something on the weekend. So I felt like going to bed. But I went and got some groc. Made a ched broccoli soup cause it was cold out. And went to v ball anyway. I had a good time. Had to leave a little early cause I am bagged and need sleep. So study some more and bed. Oh and W texts me looking for something she packed. Do I know where it is? Haven't texted back yet supposed to be a vball but I don't wanna say I'm sick feel bad for me. I have no idea where that thing is. And I'll switch convo to the boys, I miss them being here. I miss coming home to S3 yelling daddies home! And giving me a big hug and S11m getting mad I didn't pay attention to him first. I will see them in 3 more sleeps. Very excited. Need to start planning something. Just tough with little little guy
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
