Hi everyone- just an update and journaling and hopefully if anyone has any comments I can learn from- post away!
well, H got his medicine and one is anti-d. H said he would start them today. We watched Xavier beat Texas with our D7 at a bar in our neighborhood- we were very affectionate and maybe a little healing. H would put his arm around me alot. When we got home he said we should talk tom- as in today- and decide what to do. I guess here is my chance and I dont know what I want except happiness and faithfulness and tenderness. I want communication too- and HONESTY. So I did have fun last night. Some day soon I will let myself have fun again without ruining it with the past. Starting last night. H left to work this morning- career not going well for him. He brought up that he wouldnt make any "phone calls" and brought it up- I like that. One more thing- H couldnt sleep he is so anxiety ridden- he says he woke up and started feeling bad about his personal life and career and cant sleep. Rather than let him watch TV again, I told him to lay down and I put my arms around him until he slept. He thanked me today. anyway this is the pattern,. I catch him, he acts very loving, he feels lonely, he calls her. I dont know how to break the cycle. Thank God it is jsut phone calls for now- I guess that is a positive. I will read up on appreciation and how to show it. And let him understand he can make me happy. These are the issues. Or maybe the depression talking. At least I have some direction.
