How do you begin the process of forgiveness when you are unsure what it is you are forgiving ? WAW's affair, and the speed in which the D was filed and petitioned,the refusal to go to MC or even talk about it has been so odd. For me, despite all the lies and underhandedness that goes with what has happened, I currently feel the biggest betrayal is the way our 15 years together and all we have gone through, many IVF's, etc. has all been belittled and its value reduced. This makes me so sad. my WAW has not shed a single tear, shown an ounce or remorse or any uncertainty of her actions since BD. This has made me feel more worthless than the affair itself. Phrases like ' I will never forgive you for this' keep resounding around in my head and I am struggling to stop it. 4 or 5 months ago she 'wanted to be friends' which I did, but I have been tricked and lied to about mediation, solicitors, house sales to name a few, that I don't currently want her as a friend as she is horrible and to be honest I don't really know who she is. She is like a familiar stranger. She was her 'normal' self I knew over the holidays, relaxed, happy and we had a great time but now it is back to not even saying hello, petty stuff like washing her cup up, leaving mine, buying her own toilet rolls despite me having done the shopping and so on.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
