Drop the Rope - Part VI

[roist]

Z,

I am curious to know why you often hold back on your posts.You take the time to write but then delete them. Deleting posts on other people's threads because you feel they are tainted by your own emotions is understandable.

But on your own thread such posts will help you evacuate some of the shjt that builds up. You know you are amongst peers and won't be judged. Maybe it is the old you who is determined to do it alone. Plusyour first thoughts often give better insight to what is actually going on in your head, so could provide clues to those trying to help.

You don't need to reply to that. It is just food for thought

I'll also remind you of a Cadet basic: you did not break her, you cannot fix her. This is so very true for your wife. I'll leave more atuned posters talk about the specifics. But ultimately she will have to want to fix her issues.

The frustration is normal. But you answered it yourself.
What can you do to change your focus and bring it back to YOU?I will tell you something you know is true but we all could do with being reminded from time to time. Whatever you put your focus on is what you get more of. So if you focus on problems, you get problems. You focus on negative thoughts you get more.

It is good to inform yourself about what you ate facing or more correctly what your wife is going through and why. Knowledge is power and can help determine the best course of action. BUT dwell too much on it and it'll bring you down. I am not saying drop it but it should not be your main focus.

Write a list of everything you are grateful for.Take time and do a great big list. Include W/R stuff but also everything else. Then daily take a few minutes to focus on stuff that day you are grateful for. If appropriate show appreciation where possible. A simple thank you or more. This helps to think more positively.

GAL I don't need to mention, but what have you tried new lately? Early on you were inspirational with your GAL activities and always trying something new, even new meals etc. Maybe you still do that.If not put on your thinking cap.

Go finish your basement.That will make you proud once achieved. Wish I could give you a hand but I have a bathroom and other slow projects to finish myself.

Best of luck mate.