I bought ice cream on the way home and met H with two spoons when he came down from putting the boy to sleep. I told him I didn't want there to be any miscommunication about surgery stuff, and told him that I had not raised the issue of being there for his surgery out of respect for his wish for space and my understanding that he doesn't want me in his life in that way right now. (A few days ago, he told me, "Oh, about surgery, if you WANT to be there, you can...") I said it felt really strange that I won't be there for this surgery (given everything we've been through together), and that if he asked for my support, I would be there. He thanked me and said he appreciated me saying it and that he doesn't consider the surgeries a big deal at this point. He also said he's going to request no narcotics and/or give any narcotics to his sponsor, because he thinks they contributed to his relapse.
