In the Arena III- Becoming Hilariously Pleased

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Hey there Jelly - just checking in and really loving the care you are getting here - including the care you are giving yourself. You may consider it navel gazing but really isn't it just trying to figure out the world? I find myself doing this all too often too. The questions you ask about men and time and space are great questions to ask, but I guess it all depends on the man. (sorry to backtrack so far - your thread moved very quickly - that's a lot of care )

I would say that many of the men that I know don't really seem to be interested in giving their wives the time that they want, and seem selfish to me, but there they are still married, and here I am - not so much. I always found myself on the other end of the spectrum and was criticized by my male friends for being too close, not independent enough and more derogatory terms. I laughed it off and thought I knew what I valued and what I didn't need in my life.

I don't know if this is something that I would necessarily change about me, I guess I would fit more into my life. More her, more kids, and mix in more me with that. I don't think changing my priority to all me is what I would do though. Even after this mess, I still would keep the R as the priority. Maybe I am destined to fail.

But anyway - find the love you have for yourself (was there a time that you loved yourself or was proud of yourself? remember those moments and work toward those feelings again). Sure just saying now I love myself may not do the trick, but to build around a time that you actually loved yourself may help. I was reminded of a former me over the weekend by some old friends and it surely helped me focus on at least liking myself again.

Big hug from the arctic
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