You are not being too harsh. You bring up important points and I appreciate it very much. I already consulted with a lawyer and if my H continues to be a jerk about money, I will hire the lawyer. If he starts to co-operate and we move forward with the mediator, I have ZERO intentions of signing anything until said lawyer has reviewed it. I will get everything in writing. My ex will of course have visitation, but I get full physical custody. Unfortunately I was at one point dumb enough to tell him that you can have shared legal custody with one parent (me) as the tiebreaker. Now he wants that.
You brought up an important point re the OW giving him legal advice. I don't know if her and her ex have started the process yet, but it's a possibility.
You guys have all made great point that it's my right and duty to protect myself and D. It's just very hard to do without coming across as greedy and vindictive. I feel like there's no situation where I come out with everything I'm entitles to and with a little dignity.
My ex's mother is coming to help me move in a few weeks. We have a good relationship, but of course blood is thicker than water. Haven't heard anything from our mutual friends either. Wonder if they think divorce is contagious. Ha!
