Thanks again, Cadet, for that bit. Absolutely- keeping it hidden, for sure. I have been reading on the boards for quite a few weeks now, and have gathered so much good input. It is a little discouraging to see how many marriages either don't make it ultimately, but reality is reality, and there's tons of encouraging stuff here.
Cristy, thank you so much for your post, too. I have really been considering coaching; the financial issue is really huge right now, so I'm just continuing to mull it over, but I may end up calling this week. I stopped ind therapy because it wasn't lining up enough with a solution-focused approach, and because it was expensive, and because I felt like the therapist felt sorry for me, and I don't need that. I would have called today, but my little sweet pea didn't nap long enough.
Here's a bit about me, while I cook and field requests from that little sweet pea, who's playing with a sitter...
I have been doing hard-core GAL since BD in July of last year: Al-Anon, exercise, mindfulness meditation practice, massive support from friends and family, taking good care of myself in terms of body, clothing, hair, etc., and just generally loving life. Part of my difficulty considering whether to continue waiting this out is that the rest of my life is so happy and good.
Prior to completing that professional milestone in May of last year, I was working between 50-70 hrs/week for about 9 months to get it done. And taking care of the kiddo most of the time while H did 7 days/week retail. It was very rough on both of us, and finances were stressful, and then cancer...you get the picture. Lots of our silliness and warmth was preserved through that, but lots of our "laziest" stuff emerged, too, and his depression and anxiety definitely started to soar after cancer and as business debt continued to accumulate. With so little sleep and so much stress, plus the mounting pressure of a deadline, I definitely was feeling more depressed and anxious than I ever usually do, and I became quite negative without wanting or meaning to.
I'm going to pause here so this post isn't pages long and keep going in a subsequent post...
