LBH w/ a WXW after the D - now what

[NYGal]

It's hard to interpret the behavior, isn't it? I also have 2 more sessions and am saving them.
Good luck gs9! Are you posting on other threads so more people will find you?

[gs9]

Hi NYGal, I have been but should post some more. I'm often not sure I have anything to contribute. I feel like I did my best to bust my D but here I am D anyway. I know I need to remember I can only control my actions and choices. I believe I took the best route I could to save my M but ultimately it was her choice to D. And even though I'm D'd I'm trying to continue to DB in hopes she will hit rock bottom, being willing to make the changes necessary to R and we'll come back together. The waiting is so hard.

I'm pretty confused. WXW was in MBR watching a show. I went upstairs about 10pm knowing her show should be over. She was obviously crying. I climbed into my side of the bed as she got up and got ready for bed. As she was leaving the room she very gently and sweetly said good night. I said good night.

I'm trying to remember and implement my DB coaching sessions. So how is my current strategy working? Am I getting the desired results? I think I am.
What's my proof that it's working? Since 12.24 she has twice come to me telling me she loves me, she wants to start counseling, she wants us to remarry. She said she doesn't want me with another woman (which I find ironic since she's been seeing several other men)
But what has she done? What has she showed you? She has apologized for blowing up. She has been more gentle and sweet in her words, tones and actions. She left roses on the counter and a picture of a guy on her phone in what I believe are attempts to get my attention and make me jealous. She has showed jealousy over finding out I'm seeing someone.

Summary- I believe I am getting the desired results. I of course want more so I should not change my strategy. I must be patient, let the strategy work and let God work.

[gs9]

decided to binge watch a couple episodes of the Big Bang theory at work today. That show really makes me laugh. Great therapy.

I've installed a new vanity and painted the mainfloor bathroom. It's not completed yet but I am not yet getting the full therapy I had hoped for. Maybe when I complete it tonight.

[gs9]

going to go to the gym tonight. Need to get mentally and emotionally balanced again. Been a tough couple days.

[gs9]

gym was good.
WXW just left. She has a flight in the morning to a training in Texas. No idea where she is staying tonight although I know 2 of guys she was involved with while we were married live out by the airport.

I hate that I care. It's so crazy. She has been doing things like this for the last 6 months of our marriage but has the nerve to say something to me for not coming home after we were D'd.

I hate that I care

[PigPen]

It's understandable that you care G, it means you're a loving human being. The courts can't take your feelings away, they can't make your hurt go away or your heart not see the woman you committed yourself to in front of you. ESPECIALLY when she's still in your damn house.

What you're doing seems to be working, although you're the one paying the emotional price for it. I want you to know how much strength and courage that takes from someone on the outside looking in. You're a warrior for your M, most men would have broken by now.

Hit the gym, journal your worst thoughts out and then burn the paper, let it all go and keep focused on being the man that's slowly attracting your WXW back to you.

Stay strong my friend,

PP

[gs9]

Thanks PP. I really needed that tonight. It does a ton for my morale to here someone on the outside sees me as a warrior for my M. I've been fighting hard. And I know it is long from over.

[gs9]

A little snow here today. WXW headed to the airport this morning for a business trip from where ever she spent the night. She called D4 to say good morning. I didn't speak with here. It was difficult to not send a "Be careful" text.

[otw]

G
Sending some positive prayers your way. You are being tested for great things to come. Remember to walk down this path with grace.

[gs9]

Thank you very much otw. I know some of these tests I have failed and been knocked down. But the important thing is to get back up, brush ourselves off and get back on the right path.

The reminder to walk with grace is perfect.