Thanks so much for the replies. Just getting used to the board here...
Re: the insurance company, I held the boundary because it is not allowed by our insurance company. One pattern is that he does what he wants, whether it's legal or whether it's what he agreed to, etc.
Here are the basics, plus a little (heh) extra: Me (W) - early 40s H - late 40s T- 9 yrs M - 6.5 yrs Son - 2 y/o H diagnosed with cancer (non-aggressive, completely treatable, but still terrifying, etc.) - January 2015 I completed a major professional milestone - May 2015 BD (H: I need space)- July 2015 S (H moved out) - August 2015 H relapsed on alcohol (had had almost 10 years dry, a few of those in actual recovery) - a week after moving out, Sept 2015
We conceived in late 2012 and both quit our full-time jobs (both required extensive travel) in 2013 to start our own businesses. Yeah, we had a baby and did all the rest of that in one year - I know. :-/ My business is a professional service with low overhead, and it has gone well, grown fairly steadily, and has been our only income and supported us through the last couple of years. His is retail, and it has gone deeper and deeper into debt (for which we are both responsible) pretty steadily since it opened. For the first few months, we both just thought it was "the way it goes" with new businesses. Then the accountant and I started saying, hmm, the debt is starting to get worrisome, and H was absolutely uninterested in hearing it. I tried every way I knew to be as supportive as I possibly could (and had done all of the legwork to get the business loan, work with the accountant, etc., while running my business and taking care of our kid most of the time), but anything I said other than, "That's wonderful! Do whatever you want!" was not okay.
Our accountant finally quit in September of 2015, saying he was not open to the professional input, and basically she did not feel comfortable with the acceleration of debt accumulation, and with the willy-nilly business practices.
I need to go spend time with my toddler, but I'll be back soon. Thanks so much for the replies and for reading this epic post.
