Thanks Sotto. You always come to my rescue and I appreciate it.
I do not have much expectations regarding the M or R. I finally accept that it is done and dead.
But I am afraid of any more wounds. I have a lot in my plate do deal with. I need to be emotionally balanced and in peace so I can hold my family together and happy at some level.
Every time in the past, when I am out of this mess, he pulled right back on and left me with all open wounds and lot of salt on it. That's the only thing I really fear now.
And lets be honest, I know I am not all detached from this guy and the R, I am not all there yet. So it is fragile right now, I do not want to fall right back into the hole and need to work hard again to pull myself out of it.
And because it is bothering me, I can really see that I have a lot, tons of work to do in detaching, not just ignoring.
